All Lies

Social Media.

It’s all a lie…all of it. Instagram is filled with pictures of exhilarating trips to other cities, states, and countries. Girls post selfies of their ‘outfit of the day’ (OOTD). Pictures of our food let people know that we can afford nice meals and/or can make damn good food ourselves. Come the weekend, it’s all about going out with your friends and drinking the night away. Or maybe you and your significant other decide to stay in for the night and you post pictures of you and ‘bae’ cuddling on the couch. Facebook is filled with funny memes and laughable anecdotes. Scroll through Facebook and it will reveal the good and exciting things happening in a person’s life.

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In general, we don’t post about anything bad or tough happening in our lives on social media. Who want’s to see that stuff anyways? People like to live vicariously through other people’s lives on social media, and I’ll be the first to admit to doing so from time-to-time. It’s not a bad thing to post only the good and exciting things in life, I do it too. What’s annoying though is that people seem to forget that a person’s life portrayed on social media isn’t always the same in their actual life. Life isn’t always fun and games. Pictures can be misleading to anyone who doesn’t know the user personally, and judgements can easily be made. I know that my Instagram is filled with pictures of my dog. going out on weekends, countless selfies, adventures with my friends…you name it and it’s probably on my Instagram.

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For any stranger that stumbles across my Instagram, they’d probably think that I have a pretty great life as a twenty-two year old living in a rapidly growing city. I spend my weekends going out with friends, I treat myself to wonderfully made craft beer, I spend my fall days at a apple orchard picking apples and tasting wine. My selfies are always on point, my makeup is flawless, and my attention to details is amazing. If you scroll through my Facebook, it’s filled with funny Buzzfeed articles about retail, my Instagram photo’s, and funny stories (like these randoms who sat at my table at Starbucks earlier today). According to my Facebook page and Instagram, my life seems pretty damn good.

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It’s all a lie though.

Sure, I go out with my friends, I do enjoy delicious beer quite often, and all of the above. Life isn’t all fun and games though, as I’m sure everyone knows. I’ve seen more hardship and miserable times than good and happy times in my twenty-two years on this earth. I’m greatly discouraged by life right now. I’m struggling to keep my head above the water these past few years. My life has been an absolute shit-show for quite sometime now, but no one would ever guess that from looking at my social media. It’s not that I want the world to know how terrible my life has been, but rather that I hope that my family would not assume things about my life and judge me based on my Instagram posts and Facebook status’.

I don’t have a great relationship with my father, which has been semi-chronicled on here, but I know for a fact that he stalks my Facebook whenever I post something. From these posts, he assumes many things about my life and the decisions that I make. He thinks that I’m acting irresponsibly, constantly making terrible decisions, and he without a doubt thinks that I’m some crazy partier. He’s not the only one though. Up until recently my grandma, brother, and younger sister assumed the same. It wasn’t until I talked to my Grandma and opened up to her that she understood how social media worked…only the good and exciting stuff gets posted. My younger sister was simply being influenced by my father until just a few months ago. I told my sister to never assume anything about me when it comes to Facebook and Instagram. I told her to talk directly to me to see what was going on in my life, because it’s unfair to assume things that are completely untrue.

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I keep in contact with my sister, my brother, as well as my grandma, so they are all well aware of the truth behind my posts now. So I suppose this is for everyone else who likes to judge based on outward appearance and social media posts… Here are some truly devastating facts about my life that people would never guess when looking at my various social media sites.

  • I’m homeless.

I’ve been without a place to call home for six months now. My cousin let me stay with her for a month after my Colorado plans quickly went south and fell through. Once that month ended, it was back to couch surfing on my friends couches. I slept in my car more times than I’d like to admit… Too much money was spent on hotel rooms here and there. Most of my weekends were spent going out and ending up back at a guys place, and my thought was always “well at least I have a bed to sleep in”. This is a sad reality of my life that no one would ever know based off of my social media.

  • I almost went blind in my left eye.

A few months ago, in the middle of August, I woke up one morning thinking that I had pink eye. Only after going to Urgent Care and then being referred to a eye doctor, did I learn that I had a quite large corneal ulcer caused by the bacteria Pseudomonas. Not only was it in my left eye, but it was also in my right eye as well, though it was caught extremely early in my right eye. I was unable to return to work for three and a half weeks. I spent weeks at my aunts spare room, unable to be in the light. I wasn’t able to sleep for a week straight. Countless doctor visits and expensive eyedrops now have me in even more debt and I still have more doctor visits that I cannot miss.

  • I’m living paycheck-to-paycheck.

Believe it or not, but being homeless isn’t cheap. Hotel rooms are fifty bucks a pop. I don’t have a kitchen to cook food in, which means that I have to buy every single meal. It all adds up…quickly and without realizing it. How am I supposed to save money for an apartment when I have to spend most of it just to get by? It’s a difficult position to be in. Money makes the world go ’round, and I could definitely use more of it. Working part-time just isn’t cutting it, so naturally a second job is in order.

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With all of the above in mind, I just have this to say… The internet can be severely misleading. Life isn’t always as good as it is portrayed over the web. Life as a twenty something is difficult already, but for me, personally, these struggles make it almost unbearable at times. Everyone has their own struggles and issues in life, but you’d never know about them because where’s the fun in posting about that on social media?

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One Comment

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  1. You very bravely pulled back the curtain to show the underbelly of your life. My heart goes out to you as you work out the best path for you moving forward. Hoping for brighter days in your future.

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