Hookups and Relationships

Hi, my name is B and I’m not your typical girl when it comes to boys and relationships. Instead of having the typical crazy girl mentality, I’ve acquired more of a bro-mentality when it comes to boys and hooking up. While most girls get a bit clingy and jealous after hooking up and seeing their hookup with another girl, I could care less. Where most girls would call guys pigs and douche bags after giving them their number the morning after and not receiving a text, I’ve already forgotten that they even had my number in the first place.

I could blame this on my clear daddy issues, which I’ve written about before. I could even use the excuse that I have slight commitment issues, and that may be the cause, but I’m not complaining. Having this outlook has made my life quite a bit easier and that much less stressful. Some of my friends may call me a man-eater, but I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself that. The simple fact is that I just don’t do relationships. I’d much rather go out and have fun with my friends and if I meet a guy, then we’ll probably be friends for the night. And while many men and woman would be quick to call me a slut, I have to go ahead and say go f*ck yourself ✌️

Just the other night, I was out with one of my friends having a few beers at Founders when we got to the topic of men boys. Every women knows that boys suck and that it’s quite hard to come across a male that you can honestly call a man. Anyway, we were sitting at the bar when she spotted a guy she just recently met at a bar just a few nights prior. They had danced and even made out on the dance floor and as he was leaving she gave him her number. This led us to a conversation about boys because this said boy hadn’t texted her back. Even as we sat there mere feet away from him, he didn’t even have the decency to say hi.

My friend had asked me how I can go out and hookup with these guys and then just simply not care if I see them again or if they end up not texting me afterwards. My simple response to her was that I just don’t catch feelings. I can see these guys afterwards and act like nothing even happened. Sure, we’ll talk to each other and hangout for a bit, maybe take a shot together, but I don’t get jealous if they’re with another girl. Chances are that I’m already talking to another guy that night.

Why should I, or any other girl, get jealous or mad when they see a guy they hooked up with out with another girl. You just had sex. That’s it. You’re not dating, you haven’t even gone out on a date. You met at a bar and you went home with him and had some (hopefully) good sex. Why get crazy and mad when you see him afterwards, after he didn’t text you back, with another girl? Especially when you’re just going to find another guy that same night and repeat the same cycle. It’s mind-blowing.

This same friend also asked my how I can be friends with these guys after hooking up. Now I wouldn’t necessarily call them all my friends, most of them would be better classified as acquaintances. Nevertheless, I’m able to keep a chill and relaxed relationship with them afterwards. Just the other weekend, I ended up at one of my guy friends older brothers house. The morning after he called me an uber since he apparently didn’t trust himself to drive me back to my car. The uber arrived, he walked me outside, and gave me a half-assed hug. Jokingly, I called him out on it and then showed him how to give a proper hug with no hovering hands or arms. After said hug, he looks at me and goes “well it was nice meeting you…I probably won’t see you again”. Not even offended in the slightest, I respond with “yeah you’re probably right. Have a great day and thanks for the uber”. That was it. That’s typically how I act after everything is said and done.

So I guess to answer my friends question on how I simply don’t care about hearing from or seeing these guys again… I’ve learned to separate my feelings. A lot of it has to do with how I grew up and view relationships. I don’t like clingy people…I actually hate it. I don’t like how crazy girls can get, so why would I act just like them? I wouldn’t. I think it’s absolutely crazy how people will go out to the bars and meet a guy and then find out the next day that they don’t necessarily want to take them out on dates or date them in general. When I go out with my friends to the bar and I end up going home with a guy, I’m definitely not thinking of my potential future with this guy. The only future I would even be thinking about, if any future, would be future hookups with said person…but that’s only if it’s good.

In the end, my friend isn’t the type of person who can separate her feelings. She sat next to me at Founders while I was smoking a cigarette and said just that to me. Her words: “I’m not saying that you don’t have feelings, but when I meet someone and I like them, I want to see them again”. What I wanted to say back, but didn’t, was that there are quite a few guys who turn out to be cool and I’d like to see them again. But I’m not going to go irrationally crazy when they don’t text me back or even feel the same way. The way I see it…if it’s meant to be, then you’ll see them again and you’ll hit it off. In the meanwhile though, I’m just going to continue on with my bro-ish ways.

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