There comes a point in time when you realize that the people who were supposed to be closest to you abandon you. These people who took care of you growing up. People you were told would always be there for you no matter what. The same people who swore up and down that they truly do care for you, that they will always love you. Yet they’re the exact people who end up abandoning you.
There also come a point in time where their actions, which used to upset you, just don’t bother you as much anymore. The same actions that would’ve sent you into a crying mess or a raging madness, these now don’t affect you as much. Instead of crying or being mad, instead there’s just a tinge of disappointment and a whole lot of numbness where the pain used to be.
It’s sad really….I guess…at least that’s what I’ve been told by someone close to me. I, myself, wasn’t sure if this numb feeling was good or bad, but apparently it is. It makes sense though… A person shouldn’t be so used to the actions of their family that it doesn’t surprise them anymore. That it doesn’t make them angry or sad. At first it slightly hurts, but it’s more of a dull pain than anything else and then I just simply don’t care. Or maybe I act like I don’t care?
My family is broken beyond repair. It has been for some time now and there is honestly only one person who is strong enough to fix it. The only problem would be that they’re too busy with their new life. And I see…I see my entire family still talking and visiting each other, even though I know they’re all pretending deep down. Yet here am I on the outsides looking in. It’s not because they tell me that I know what they’re doing, but because I see it plastered all over Facebook almost like they’re throwing it in my face.
The reason is very well known to me as to why they’ve all abandoned me. It’s as simple as them not agreeing with my choices, my lifestyle. I’m not talking about doing hardcore drugs, or even drugs at all. Choices such as school, going out after I just turned 21, moving, where I’m living. Those are the choices they don’t agree with, thus making them turn their backs on me.
There’s one person who hasn’t abandoned me yet, and that’d be my grandma. Now my grandma is just like everyone else in the way that she does not agree with my lifestyle or choices either. She constantly reminds me that she’s disappointed in me. But she is adamant about not turning her back on me and not giving up. Why? Because she loves me. She cares so much about me. I know this not only because she tells me, but because of her actions. Here is my grandma, stubborn and set in her ways, feeling the same exact way as the rest of my family, but yet she still refuses to give up. Why? Because we’re family and family is all that you have left at the end of the day (so I’ve always been told). That’s the true meaning of family.
There comes a point in time where the people who were supposed to be closest to you are disappointed in you, but the real disappointment is them and their actions.