This isn’t a new flash for me by any means, but being an adult is nothing like I thought it was growing up. I’m regretting all of the time spent wishing that I was an adult…grown up. It’s stressful…and I’m only 20! The past week has been one stressful day after another and I just don’t know how much worse it can get.
My roommate is pretty much the roommate from hell, I’ve found out. To cut a long, long, long story short… She’s upset with me because I leave a few dishes in the sink from time to time. Sometimes it’s because I’m in a hurry, the dishwasher is full, being ran, or just clean. I always take care of them, though. Last Sunday, after being rudely woken up by my roommate blasting music, I find my bottle returns taken and my roommate gone. After simply asking where they were, she told me that she took them…and then continued to just go off on me. She brought up things that had nothing to do with her taking my bottle returns. I ended up calling her out on not ever cleaning, doing dishes, or taking out the trash. Excuses were obviously made up and then I called my cousin to vent. It then comes to my attention that she had $20 stolen when she was at my apartment a while ago. This new information made a few things click in my head…random things of mine had been going missing as well…including $30. How odd…right?
Fast forward to the next day, my roommate is in Florida, and I end up finding my things in her room. Hmmm…how interesting. As if that wasn’t enough, I find out that the bills, which are in her name, aren’t being paid…at all. I’ve been giving her my half of the bills and they’re clearly not going where they should be. By now I was infuriated! What’s even worse is that she’s lying about all of it. It’s kind of hard to lie about something when I’ve already seen the evidence in my hands…I’m not stupid. She had been lying about many other things, which ultimately led me to the decision to move out.
We just signed the lease in November, so if we break the lease then we have 60 days for both of us to move out and give the office $500 each…on top of normal rent. Ugh. I may not have to break the lease though but that all depends on it my current roommate wants to stay. I’ve already found another roommate, though ideally I’d love to live alone, and we’re looking at apartments together. Obviously a bit hesitant with having another roommate…I laid it all out on the table when I met up with my new roommate. We seem like we’re on the same page so that’s good! But this roommate thing is seriously stressful and I’m just done with it all!
On top of this roommate drama…I’ve got health concerns as well. Freaking lovely!
I’ve been regularly getting colonoscopies for years now…every year to be more accurate. Though this last colonoscopy I had been by a different doctor down by my dads house. This previous doctor recommended that I have my next colonoscopy in two years (it’s been about 1.5 years now). Uhmm…what!? Not happening, sir. Luckily for me, I moved back to GR last May and my old doctor is covered by my insurance! That’s not the stressful part though.
I talked to my dad about my soon-to-be-scheduled colonoscopy. He wanted to know who would take me since he’s not here and blah blah blah. Recently I had told him that I wanted to get one because I just didn’t feel right. He asked me what I meant by that earlier tonight and I explained it to him. I don’t really eat much anymore, and when I do I feel sick, as well as other issues. As if I’m not stressed enough he brings up the possibility of me needing surgery this time around. Thanks, dad… So not what I needed. Being an adult though, I told him that I didn’t have a plan and that I would think about it after I get my colonoscopy. Surprisingly he was okay with that! He then went on to tell me that ideally he’d want me to have it done up here (by me), but that he can’t really take 12 weeks off of work to take care of me (it is a pretty serious surgery). Meh…I’m so done with stress!
I hate being so damn negative, but right now it’s extremely hard to stay positive when everything around me is negative. Whenever I’m feeling down or super negative, I always try to find at least one thing that’s happening that’s good.
Tonight I guess there was something positive..two actually. One: my dad told me that I was more important than a grocery store! Thanks, again, dad. Two: It seems like my dad has had an epiphany. Hallelujah! I was talking to a close family friend today and she told me that my dad has realized a lot of things since his recent could’ve-been-serious hospital stay. He’s realized that he’s been ignoring his own kids, putting us off to the side and focusing on his new family. It sucks that it took something pretty serious to make him realize the error of his actions, but I’m glad that he’s putting his kids, and health, as priorities once again. It truly makes me happy because he’s the only parent we have left. No matter how much he pisses my siblings and I off he’ll always be our dad.
It feels good to find a positive in between all of the negative currently surrounding me. Gotta stay strong and push forward.