Expensive Taste

In recent years it has dawned on me that, like many other girls out there, I have expensive tastes. It comes naturally for me to be drawn to the more expensive and finer things in life. This doesn’t just apply to clothes and makeup, but everything else in life as well. If someone were to put two nearly identical pieces of clothing, shoes, TVs–you name it–and I’ll instinctively chose the more expensive of the two. Some may call it a talent….maybe it is, but it’s a hassle when I don’t have the money to spend on these things. Even in a store like Forever 21 where everything is already cheap, I’ll pull something off of the rack and it’s one of the more expensive things in the store. Go figure. I know that one day I’ll be able to afford all these things if I work hard and stay focused, but what if I don’t want to wait years to be able to buy myself nice things?

Let me just say that I am a very independent person and I know what I want in life. Growing up, I was taught to never rely on a man for things such as money, happiness, or success. With that being said, I still believe in not relying on a man for those things, but what if you were to meet someone who could offer you some of these things–some of the things you want in life right now and don’t feel like waiting for. I’m an ambitious person and I want to try everything that I possibly can. I want to do so many things in life, and there isn’t a better time to start than when you’re young. Not only do I have expensive taste, but I long to travel the world and experience different cultures, learn new languages.

You hear about it all the time and even see it on many TV shows–girls dating guys for their money. Gold diggers. Well I don’t want to be a gold digger, but I’ve had countless thoughts over the past year or so about something much more taboo. I have expensive taste and want to experience the finer things in life…so I suppose a reasonable, yet taboo, answer for that would be to become a sugar baby. Yes, the thought has crossed my mind hundreds of times, but I’ve never acted upon those thoughts. It’s such a taboo topic and has so many negative thoughts and stigmas on it that those reasons alone were enough to turn me away from those thoughts.

It was after my post about being a compulsive shopper that had me thinking about it again. I finally confided my friend, K, about these crazy thoughts, and as always, she didn’t judge me. Instead she told me that if I do end up doing this whole thing, then I should try to “go for one as young as possible”. I honestly don’t think that I could ever have this type of relationship with a man in his mid forties and up…even forty would be pushing it. So if I were to go through with this, then yes, K, I would go for one as young as possible. There’s a part of me that’s like “whoa! Are you out of your mind!? What on earth are you smoking? What are you even thinking? A year ago you would have never done this!” and then there’s the other part of me telling me: Fuck it. You’re young, so why not? Grow a fucking pair and join it.” and then I went back to my new years ‘resolutions’. I’m going to do what makes me happy and put myself first, try new things, and learn from my mistakes. As if she was reading my mind, K replied with “well it’s all about doing new things” and she was completely right. I’m young and life is all about taking chances and trying new things.

After much thought and going back and forth between the two arguments going on inside of my head, I decided to say fuck it and join one of the many sites for these types of…arrangements. It took me a good hour to finish filling out my profile–I have no clue what to put in the description box or what type of arrangement I was looking for. After countless google searches, I submitted my profile and within twenty minutes it was approved. It wasn’t until I was browsing through the sugar daddies that it finally dawned on me what I had gotten myself into. Many of these men were well into their forties and fifties. There were countless married men looking for discreet relationships and I couldn’t help but get a little weirded out. There was no way that I would have any type of relationship with a married man. You want to spoil a girl? Well you have a wife, so spoil her!

Upon further searching, I came across plenty of younger guys…errr…men…in their mid-twenties and thirties. I also found that while many sugar daddies are looking for sex, there are actually quite a few where that’s not a requirement. The less I thought about all the social taboos about this topic, the more I began to make my own thoughts and opinions on it. Say I do end up having a relationship with one of these guys…it starts off like any other relationship–dating–and then slowly progresses into more. It doesn’t all have to be about sex. Now, I’m sure they all want sex at some point…I mean they are men after all… These guys are offering girls the world…seriously. Love to travel? They all seem to love traveling and offer to take you with. Of course I’m not going to jump on a plane with some random I just met…I’m not stupid.

Life would just be so much easier and honestly, although I do like shopping and all that typical girly stuff…a big reason why I joined this is the thought of being able to pay off my college loans while in school so I won’t spend the rest of my life paying them back. With some of these guys offering twenty thousand a month, I could not only pay for my school, but also help out my family. With my dad losing his job, which was the main source of income, and my younger sister in and out of the hospital, they could really use the help. How exactly would I slip them the money? I haven’t a clue right now, but I’d figure it out. They deserve some relief in their lives and if I can help make that happen, then why not?

It’s been two or three days since I joined this sugar baby/daddy website and I’ve gotten over a hundred profile views and plenty of messages. Some of the messages are from older men as well as younger men in their mid-twenties and thirties. I haven’t replied to any of the messages yet, though there are two that I’m considering replying to. I’m still a bit nervous about this and I honestly don’t know what to expect from it all.

I understand that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and many people will disagree with me, and that’s fine…you’re entitled to your thoughts and opinions. In the end of it all, It’s  my life and I can choose how I want to live it. If in the end I decide to continue this thing, then I can guarantee that there will be posts to chronicle my journey into this taboo world.

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