Coming and Going

““Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” ― Muhammad Ali

Almost twenty years into my life and I can say that like everyone else, I’ve gone through my fair share of issues with friends along the way. I’ve made some great friendships that I know will never fade or break and I’ve also lost some friendships, some that I thought were my best friends. It’s always a tough pill to swallow when you lose a friendship you never thought you would, but over time you get over it and meet even better friends. Up until the end of my junior year of high school I had the same group of friends I had since fifth and sixth grade. I met one of my best friends, A, in seventh grade in our English class. It’s embarrassing, but I’ll admit that we became friends when she was defending Marilyn Manson, I believe, and I stepped and simply agreed with her. I’m pretty positive that after that, I noticed she had a horse on her folder and I told her that one of my aunts has some horses. And with that we somehow became best friends. We were two peas in a pod who were nearly inseparable and everyone knew us as A and B or B and A…with one you got the other and if you didn’t like one of us then too bad! I remember when we both got drunk for the first time–we were with some older guy friends of ours and got drunk off of warm beer in a park. Come to think about it, we did so many terrible things growing up that I’m surprised we never got caught.

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A and I were those best friends in high school that everyone knew about and if something happened, like a fight, between us then everyone knew. We would sometimes get into fights and not talk for four months and then see each other in the hallways one day at school and one of us would walk up to the other and say that we missed them and viola! Back to being friends! I truly thought that we’d be best friends forever, but come end of junior year, I realized that just wasn’t the case. It hurt to know that someone who you thought was your best friend would choose to believe someone else over you and not even bother to confront you about it. With the end of that friendship came the end of all my other friendships with that group–for the most part. But looking back now, I know that those girls weren’t my true friends. Sure we had amazing times and I now have plenty of stories to tell my kids and grandkids in the future, but my friendships with most of those girls just wasn’t healthy.

I still talk to a select few people from that group of girls today, which is what inspired this post in the first place.

This morning, bright and early at six in the morning, I wake up to a Facebook message from this girl I used to be really good friends with back in high school. I can’t remember exactly why we stopped talking, but we did. I’m not going to get into the details as to why she messaged me though, because I don’t want to talk about any issues she’s currently having. It’s safe to say that I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that she had messaged me and I sent her a quick reply back. We caught up with each other and like they say, it’s like no time had passed at all. So…heres to hoping that we can be friends again and leave the past in the past!

Ever since I dropped the Mean Girls-esque group of friends, I’ve met so many other people who bring out the best in me–not the worst. I made some great friendships when I attended school up in Chicago–one of those ended up being one of my best friends. I don’t remember how exactly we became friends, but we met though her friends roommate one night, and it turned out that she lived down the hall from me. Not like it matters how we became friends, all that matters is that we’re still friends. It’s nice to know that you have people by your side who won’t judge you and will be there for you no matter what. She’s one of three people who I can honestly tell anything and everything to without the fear of them judging me. Do I need a reality check? I know she’ll put me in my place! Hopefully we’ll stay friends throughout the years because who else am I going to quote Jenna Marbles videos with?

This post wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my best friends since fifth grade, H. Honestly, I could write a whole blog post about this girl because she deserves it! H was the very first person I met when I moved to my new house in fifth grade. H and I have been told that we look like those best friends in the movies–like we’re just look like we’re supposed to be best friends. I’m the taller of the two, standing at 5’8″ and H only 5’2″…5’3″ would be pushing it! Looking at her you’d think that you could break her in half because she’s so tiny, though don’t think for a second that she doesn’t eat whatever she wants though. The only thing similar about our looks is that we’re both brunettes. Throughout our nine(?) years of being friends we’ve obviously had our ups and downs and our fair share of fights, disagreements, and periods of not talking to each other but we always managed to get through it, and I think that’s how best friends are supposed to be. You fight like sisters but push through the bullshit because you can’t live without the other by your side. We’re like family. My dad and siblings all consider her part of our family…they ask how she’s doing and only want the best for her. I know that I can go over to her house even if she’s not there and just talk to her mom. I may not agree on some of the choices she’s made in life and she probably feels the same, but there’s no way I’d let that affect our friendships. This is one of those friendships you see in the movies and not everyone has that and for that I’m grateful and know that I’m fortunate to have someone like that by my side.

Seventh grade throwback
Seventh grade throwback

Friendships come and go, that’s a fact of life. There are some friendships that are made to last a lifetime, even if you have a short falling out, and then there those that fade away and (sadly) turn into memories. Today I have a mix of friends, some from high school and others that I’ve met while away at college. If they all only have one thing in common with each other, then its the fact that they all accept me for me and only bring out the best in me.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

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