“Geeez how do you do it??”

“I just bumped my head getting into my car looking at your picture. I’m gona need your name and number now for, insurance purposes ;)” – Legit_Guy1988

I have an admission to make… I have an online dating profile on OkCupid. I know, I know…what was I thinking? It’s a recent addition to my life, only having it since the beginning of January. The reasons I made an account wasn’t to meet a boyfriend or anything. Not at all. It all started when I was up in Michigan visiting my cousin and saw that she and her roommate both had one just to meet people around town. I thought “hey, I still don’t know many people back home since I moved there…so why not?” Within minutes of making my account and uploading a few pictures, I had plenty of messages waiting for me to reply to. Some of the first messages were the typical “hey whats up?” or “hi, I’m so and so…”. There was nothing that caught my eye until a few minutes later, that is. The username is what first caught my eye and had me rolling my eyes–Legit_Guy1988. His message had me laughing out loud (seriously)! The pickup line with the wink-y face was just perfect! Legit_Guy1988 was just the first of many funny and questionable messages to come and make me roll my eyes and laugh. I’ve gotten plenty of messages, not to sound cocky, because I’m not, but most of them don’t get a reply, sorry Legit_Guy1988, only because they don’t spark my interest. They’re either too generic or too…weird…for me to want to reply back and have a conversation with. Another message I received early on in my adventure into online dating had me speechless for a second.

“Hey! How would you like to have an orally stimulated orgasm?” – J

My few speechless seconds quickly turned into laughter as I moved onto the next message. No way is someone who starts up a conversation like that going to get a reply. No girl, that I’m aware of, wants to talk to a man guy who starts a conversation. If you really want to grab my attention then message me and ask me about something you read in my profile. So you have a suggestion on a TV show you think I should watch, like Dexter? Then sure, go ahead and message me, telling me that I should check out Dexter because you think I’ll like it. Oh, you read that I want to transfer to Tennessee and would like to know why? Great attention grabber. I mentioned that I want to major in Music Business and you’re curious as to what exactly I want to do with that degree? If you get me talking about music then that’s a great start. I can tell you that those guys who messaged me about real topics and questions definitely got a reply.

Don’t get me wrong though, I do enjoy all the weird and laughable messages I get. They give me some much needed laughs and on the rare occasion they might get a reply back, though the conversation doesn’t hold for very long for various reasons. Maybe we just have nothing in common or maybe they just managed to creep me out like Mr. K89 unfortunately did. “hey pretty lady” is how it all started. Generic…I know, but I thought I’d message him back. We messaged back and forth for a while until he mentions that he’s a “horny 23-year-old” that “likes my curves”. Okay so I could have stopped messaging him right then and there but I didn’t. I was bored and wanted to see how far he’d try to go. The poor guy tried so hard for twenty minutes to get me to send him some pictures–though he didn’t care if they were nudies or not. I, of course, denied him over and over again because I’m not one to sext…it’s just not my thing. A few messages later is when things got real creepy. He mentioned how he wanted to see me in person (huge red flag!) and I was quick to deny that idea. What truly creeped me out about the whole conversation is that he googled where I lived.

“Please?…. :D. And we’re about 2 he’s away”

For anyone not familiar with OkCupid, they display what city a person lives in. Anyways, I called him out on it and he gladly admitted to googling where I lived. You best believe that was the end of that conversation!

The most recent message I’ve been chuckling over is from the guy who messaged me the other day saying “your Skype” over and over again! After the fifth or sixth time of him asking demanding for my Skype I told him to stop asking and his only response was “why? lol”. I haven’t had a problem with him continuing to ask for my Skype since then, but it’s still funny to laugh about. Boys, if you’re reading this, never use that sort of tactic to get a girl to talk to you…it won’t work.

Though many of these messages didn’t lead to much of anything, I will admit that I did end up meeting one person from OkCupid online. Naturally, being a person with an extremely overactive imagination, I began going through all the worst case scenarios. ‘What if he rapes and kills me?’ was a big worry of mine as I drove to the public place we were meeting at. The entire drive to the coffee shop we agreed on meeting up at all I could think was ‘please don’t be like an episode of Catfish!’. After texting him to let him know I was there and that he was as well, I walked up the steps and into the little coffee shop to find that I hadn’t been “catfished” and he was who he said he was. The night went fine, he paid for my coffee, and we talked about random things, and after a semi-awkward hug, we went our different ways. After that meet-up I was under the impression that we were just friends and I was happy for that because that was my goal for making this account in the first place.

So what makes me decide to meet up with a random person off the internet in the first place? Well first he messaged me and asked about something pertaining to my profile (plus) and once we started talking the conversation just kept flowing (another big plus). He seemed genuine, straight forward, but someone I could possibly get along with. I’m a sarcastic bitch and he’s an over-confident and sarcastic ass. So when he asked to meet up for coffee–why not? He wasn’t googling where my house was and he didn’t demand for my Skype, though I quickly learned later on that he is a very persistent and sometimes a persuasive guy. (Side note: If you end up reading this, Mr .P, then please don’t mention hooking up with other girls while out with another girl you just met, even if we end up being just friends 😉 )

It’s interesting to note that this random off of an online dating site ended up being Mr. P, whom I’ve mentioned once before on this blog. Quite interesting how things like that turn out.

Though I laugh and make fun of some of the messages I get on my profile, it takes some sort of confidence to message a complete stranger, so to Legit_Guy1988 and all of the other funny guys whose messages gave me inspiration for this post…thank you! And to end this with a hopeful laugh…

“Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re cu’te.” – PDisk.

 

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